MrNepathy's Blog

The following blog only covers the first hour of Red Dead Redemption so you can read this without worry of spoilers beyond that. The game starts with your character, John Marsters, going to a fort to confront his old friend Bill Williamson who isn’t the brightest star on the horizon. If I were Douglas Adams this is the point where I might write, “Before I continue, I should tell you that the worst that happens is that someone gets shot in the gut and also a shirt is ruined, but otherwise no one is harmed.” But I’ll just say Bill Williamson sleeps in his own bed that night and your unconscious body is picked up by two people traveling by. You wake up and meet Bonnie who paid fifteen dollars to the doctor to have you patched up. She’s a nice lady who runs a ranch and once you recover asks you to help out to earn your keep. (more…)

Before I launch into my case against Nintendo fan boys, I have to say a few things first. I grew up on Nintendo. After the Atari 2600, the Nintendo was the next console I had. I played Zelda on the gold cartridge and subscribed to Nintendo Power to get a free copy of Dragon Warrior. My brother and I slaughtered many a gold golem to earn money for better swords and armor. I believe the first Final Fantasy game I played was on a Nintendo system. I’ve owned the Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64 and still have a GameCube somewhere in the basement. I have a Wii though ever since I stopped using Wii Fit, my Wii has been pretty much dormant. It got moved out of the way during the Oscar Party at my house and it’s still tucked away to the side and practically out of sight. Though I don’t play the Wii, I cannot argue against the Wii’s success or the brilliance behind its design and marketing. The problem with the Wii is it’s meant for everyone, not hard core gamers. So it sold millions of consoles to nursing homes and adults who would not have considered buying any other system. Your Uncle Roger probably has it and he probably has Wii Resort. Meanwhile Microsoft and Sony are selling the latest Call of Duty game to KingStabber74 and XNinjaSniperX who are probably your cousins. (more…)

I was thinking about video games that I would like to exist, and that got me to thinking about other things I would like to see. Hollywood or video gaming industry, if you are reading these, make them happen and I will buy them. Thanks.

• An updated version of X-wing, the classic PC game, for the consoles. I’d like to be able to fly through space, shoot down TIE Fighters, attack Star Destroyers, etc. I don’t want ground missions where I have to fly the Y-wing, but let me have the option of taking the Y-wing on missions, or the A-wing or the B-wing. Please note I want this in the era of the Rebel Alliance. No clone troopers, no dead Chewbacca. Put me in Rogue Squadron, or even Wraith Squadron. I don’t care. Keep escort missions to a minimum.
• Need for Speed: Most Wanted 2 – Before you say, “What about Carbon” or “What about that one you didn’t buy?” I don’t want to drift race. I don’t want to just race. I want car chases with helicopters and tire strips, I want a body shop where I can paint my cars in the amount of detail that I could in Forza 2, but I don’t want to adjust the angle of the tires or the RPM setting. Let me buy “Engine 4” which is faster than “Engine 3.”
• A TV show starring Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry. I don’t care what it is but it should be funny.
• Star Wars: Episodes VII-IX – These better be the Thrawn trilogy.
• A good mech game – It can be from Robotech or like Front Mission 3, but I want to modify my mechs and I want my mechs to lay waste to things. Make it an RPG, make it an action game, whatever.
• A TV show about a zombie apocalypse – It would be a drama about a small town trying to survive, like Jericho meets Dawn of the Dead.
• A video game where I can buy a space ship, hire a crew and travel through space. I could make it as a smuggler, legitimate trader, help the allied government or work against it. The ship would be modifiable both in design and in parts. No magical powers, no crazy technology. It would play like Mass Effect, but set in the Firefly universe. It doesn’t even need to have playable versions of the feature characters, but they could make an appearance for missions and such.
• A new version of Soul Reaver – It can be a remake of the original or a new story, but it should be more like the first game than the second which seemed to lack real boss fights.
• A new Toad the Wet Sprocket album – They’re touring together, and Glen is writing music for other things, it’s not entirely impossible, but I’m also one of the few people on the planet that wants this.
• A good Iron Man video game – Stop trying to rush the game out to coincide with the movie release. That’s always bad. Base the game around the era of the Armor Wars. That would provide for some good villains, henchmen and even a few hero appearances.
• Action figures based on the World War II G.I. Joe versus Transformers comic series
• An HK-47 action figure
• A movie about Hawkeye the Avenger – Cancel Antman, make this instead. Sure, he’s a guy that wears a lot of purple and orange, and his power is “good at archery” but on the plus side… he’s not Antman. Doesn’t have to be a live action film, it could be along the lines of the cartoon movies about Dr. Strange, The Avengers or Hulk Vs. Wolverine.
• Lego Marvel – either as a video game or just toys. The game could work like Star Wars where different characters can do different things. Strong characters (Hulk, Thor, Thing, etc) could lift objects out of the way. Elemental characters (Storm, Iceman, etc) could put out fires. Flying characters (Iron Man, Human Torch, Storm, etc.) could get to otherwise inaccessible switches. Melee characters (Wolverine, Deadpool) could slash through objects. Smart characters (Mr. Fantastic, Vision, Iron Man, etc.) could hack computers like R2D2 did in Star Wars.

I woke up to the sound of fire engines racing on the street below my window. The heavy sound of the diesel working overtime, the scream of the distinctive siren, the blaring of the horn like a harbinger as if the first two noises weren’t enough. Through the haze of just-waking eyelids fluttering like the first flaps of a butterfly I saw the white and red flashing on my water-stained ceiling. (more…)

Pretty soon I will write a review for a music CD and I think in order for people to know how to interpret the review, they will need to know my musical preferences. After all there’s plenty of good music that I don’t fully appreciate. For instance I wouldn’t say I’m a jazz fan, nor am I big into rap, but I like a song here or there from both genres. Also while I might like a film that I wouldn’t call good, like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I’m a little pickier when it comes to music. I figure music is like a video game. I’ll be investing hours into it because a quality album should be listened to often without losing its appeal much like a good video game should be playable for an amount of time that makes the $60 worth it. Clearly CDs don’t cost $60, but for whatever reason I find it more regrettable to buy a bad CD than I do a bad movie. With music I feel almost lied to when the album is vastly different than the single. The song on the radio will be one thing, but it turns out that song is the exception to the rule. (more…)

The original Clash of the Titans was made with a budget of about what you would spend on the Taco Bell carry-out Build Your Own Tacos combo pack. It featured two people I can still name, and effects that make that Chocolate Rain video on YouTube look like Avatar. Despite these things it’s still better than its remake. (more…)

So I was watching the news this morning… I should stop here to say that I don’t really watch the news. It’s more accurate to say that I catch glimpses of the news while doing other things. Usually I see the news on a bank of televisions and cannot hear what is going on but merely read the closed captioning. Half the time the images melt into one giant thing so that I think Zack and Slater are protesting health care reform, or that Glen Beck is talking about the NCAA tournament. I find the world is a far more pleasant place when I know less about what is going on in it. But my eyes could not ignore the phrase, “Cheeseburger in a Can” written in the same font that they use for “Terrorists Attack Fish Hatchery” and “Athlete’s Foot – The New Silent Killer.” The right font means, “This news story is epic and if you miss it, you will likely be killed by the ravenous woodchucks we just said are rampaging through your town. The headline: How many Teds can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck Teds?” (more…)

Breanne tipped her head down as she pressed her hand to the cafeteria door and pushed it open. Noise erupted all around her as the various cliques scattered towards their tables. Maybe it was her imagination, but everyone seemed to turn to her to check out the new girl. Time to pick a clique she thought to herself. She felt like a gazelle going for a drink of water only to find itself surrounded by lions, cheetahs, jackals and vultures. (more…)

The original Mass Effect is not only one of my favorite role play games of all time, it’s one of my favorite games of all time. So to say I was eagerly awaiting Mass Effect 2 is putting it mildly. When I put in disk one of the sequel of the space epic, it asked me if I wanted to import my character from Mass Effect. It detected any completed game files and loaded up my character without incident. The face, background and events of Mass Effect were imported. I had the option to alter my appearance and skills. Plus during the training I was questioned as an in-game memory test about events of Mass Effect. I’m not sure if my answers helped re-shape the events or if the characters would have corrected me. (more…)

“There was a time before the beginning of this. It was your first meaningful journey. The ceaseless rain had made the mountain pass almost impossible to traverse, but you and your would-be squire, Benton, pushed your horses to their limits once you were on more secure ground. You arrived at the gates of a city you had never been to. It was a city built around a pleasant hill, a hill that cast its morning shadow upon an even more pleasant lake. (more…)